Saying Goodbye to Say Hello
Saying good-bye to say hello…
It seems like that is what my life consists of these days.
A few weeks ago, G and I packed our suitcases and said good-bye to our apartment and the cat in order to say hello to Garrett’s side of the family in the mountains of Tennessee for a short vacation. I then had to say good-bye to G as he flew to Brazil for a week. Good-byes were said once more when leaving the Sees to say hello to the Lintons. Then it was time to say good-bye to my folks to say hello to my husband and the cat and the apartment. And on it goes.
In the moments where I want to cry at having my heart flung across the globe and want to pout at the frustrations of not being able to gather all those pieces under one roof, I have to stop and count my blessings. I’m reminded of the words from Winnie the Pooh—”How lucky am I to have something that makes saying good-bye so hard. “
There are so many “somethings” that make saying good-bye hard. There’s the obvious of loved ones, but there’s also my dog Clara, and the sheep, and the goats, and all the Southern sweet tea, and the hot of North Carolina. There’s the flip side in Nebraska of less humidity, Callie Cat, Scooters coffee, and the red apartment 1 door.
For some reading this, you may think, girl get a grip. And believe me, I’ve said the same thing to myself. The problem is, good-byes are just hard for me. I chalk it up to loving fiercely. People tell me good-byes get easier, but they don’t. I cry every time. It hurts every time.
With so many good-byes and hellos back to back, I’m left whirling and both elated and defeated. It’ll take me a few days to get back to normal. I have to sift through the emotions and figure them out. One emotion I don’t have to figure out, though is gratefulness. I’m so thankful to have this many people to miss. So thankful to create the memories I get to. It’s those people and those memories that make good-byes so hard, but dangit it’s worth it. Every tear, heart ache, plane ticket, and good-bye is worth the hello. It’s worth the moments between the hello and good-bye. It’s all worth it.
Good-byes suck, and sadly right now, I’m doing quite a lot of them. While I get angry and frustrated at the need for them, I’m also grateful for the lessons they are teaching me. I’m grateful for how much they make me value time and how to be present. I’m grateful that they make me love more fiercely and appreciate more thoroughly.
I refuse to think of hellos as an inevitable good-bye. If I did, I’d run from hellos every chance I got. If, though, I think of good-byes as an inevitable hello, it eases the pain. For, while my heart hurts at the good-bye, I’m walking toward the healing power of hello.
So until the next hello, I’m going to bask in the memories and special moments that happen in between and count my blessings that I have this much to make good-byes so hard.